Friends for a Lifetime
by PrettyLittleDiary
Summary: Lily and Remus have been sharing classes together for almost a year before they are sat together. Their friendship slowly blossoms long before Lily and James begin dating. Something about them just clicks as they both fall in to a sense of familiarity with one another. However, it doesn't take long for Lily to find out his big secret, how will she react?
1. Chapter 1

First year, Lily's pov

I sat in charms class not paying nearly enough attention to Professor Flitwick. It wasn't like me but my head is all over the place today. It was at home, well-wishing I was anyway. Leaning on my hand I looked out the window at the sun wondering if I could bring Mum and Dad to visit me. I didn't see why not they had been to Diagon Alley and platform nine and three quarters so why not Hogwarts? I'd love to show them all the places I tell them about because I can't do this beautiful castle justice. The months following Christmas has really gotten the better of me even if I was going to see them for Easter soon. Letters just took so long and I hated being out of the loop feeling separate from my family.

Remus, who was sat next to me in the new assigned seating, nudged me surprising me. We were meant to be taking revision notes on the mending charm but I hadn't even written the date. My face dropped as I try to work out where to start. Remus cleared his throats pushing the parchment towards me so I can read what he had written. Not wanting to draw attention to us I smile gratefully only just catching up at the end of the lesson.

"Thanks a lot, Remus" I said, it felt kind of formal as we packed up.

"No problem," he smiled back, "you're not the first person to copy off me"

"And I'm sure I won't be the last"

"True," he said his voice had kind of a nervous tinge to it as he spoke, "everything okay?"

"What makes you ask?" I reply maybe too harshly.

"Just you'd normally be the one having someone copy off you too"

"Yeah" I nodded as I finished packing my bag, "I mean it doesn't help that I'm sat next to some stranger"

"I'm hurt; this must be our…tenth conversation" he said, his bony hand held to his chest.

"And first time alone" I said looking around the almost empty classroom.

"I do class you as a best friend you know, Lily" he said seriously looking me in the eye.

"Right" I rolled my eyes.

"So best friend, what's on your mind?"

"I'm just really homesick lately" I said, planning on brushing off the details.

"Yeah, that can really mess up your mood" he said as we both began to leave the classroom.

"Can I ask if you're a muggle born too?" I ask before I can stop myself.

"No, Mum's a muggle Dad's a wizard"

"I know it seems random but I always feel like my muggle born friends get homesick way more," I shrugged, "this more than my wizard friends it's like they just knew this was coming so they were…ready"

"I've never really thought about that" he answered thoughtfully.

"See, this is the things my non homesick brain realises the world is missing out"

"Definitely," he laughed again he was taller than I realised as we walked next to each other.

"What do you do when you feel homesick?"

"I try to keep busy writing home makes me feel worse"

"It does take forever to hear back"

"Not only that, it just makes me feel worse not actually being there to talk to them"

"I get that" I nodded as I play with my robes.

"It's nearly Easter" he says encouragingly.

"And I have a new best friend" I laugh, nudging him.

"Can't feel lonely with a new best friend" he answered, I looked up at him spotting a curious mark across his smooth complexion.

"So why don't you tell me about your family? That way you know you defiantly haven't told the story before"

"So you won't get bored?"

"Exactly"

"Well it's me my parents and my sister" I said unsure where to start.

"And?"

"Dad's a retired teacher, Mum's just gone back to work as a secretary and Tuney is a few years older than me"

"None of them magic?"

"No, none of my family were as far as we know"

"Tell me about them?"

"When I came home for Christmas me and Mum actually stayed up all night catching up and Dad took me for ice cream like three times even though it was Christmas"

"So staying up late and eating crap is your favourite part?"

"Something like that, they both are just the most amazing people" I said embarrassingly dreamily.

"They never say everything in a letter do they?"

"No, exactly it's not like eating together three times a day"

"It sounds like your close"

"Yeah" I say. "Can I ask how your parents met?" I'd just heard about the secrecy act and was curious.

"Bit of a weirdo aren't you?"

"You should know that already best friend"

"Right," he laughed, "Mum's a nurse and she was being attacked by this bogart and Dad works for the ministry dealing with creatures like that and he happened to find her and safe her and well they fell in love"

"Bogart?"

"It basically turns in to your worst fear"

"There are things that turn in to your worst nightmares?" I demand, "what's the point of having more ways to have nightmares!"

"Don't ask me I didn't create them"

"Have you ever seen one?"

"No"

"What do they look like?"

"Your worst fear" Remus repeated.

"But if they are not…seen…you know what I mean?" I said, wondering what mine would be. Probably a snake, I thought it was too nosey to ask what he thought his would be.

"I have no idea I never looked much in to it" he said, looking amused.

"This world is crazy," I shook my head, "at least they have a cute story"

"I'll let them know" he shrugged.

"I'm sorry if I'm being nosey" I said shyly.

"We've got to take your mind off this homesickness haven't we?"

"By talking about the people we miss?"

"And making you really interested in bogarts"

"There are way too many things about I don't know about!"

"I've known I was magic my whole life and there are still so many things I don't know about"

"Remus that doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel worse"

"Why?"

"You've known you were magic for eleven years and you still have so much to find out"

"Yes but I've only been able to do magic for the same amount of time as you"

"You never did any underage magic?" I tease.

"I'm not obliging that question with an answer" he said holding his head higher.

"I think I'm going to go to the library and look over all the notes I wasn't paying attention to today" I tell him as we are about to get to the Great Hall.

"Yeah? Don't you need to eat?"

"I've got snacks in my bag"

"And you're not just avoiding people"

"Honestly I have no idea what I've written all day it may help me with the rest of the lesson"

"Want me to walk with you? Keep distracting you"

"Yes, because I'll get lost otherwise"

"Alright, alright. You know where I am?"

"Yeah I do" I smiled gratefully at him, waving good bye. Okay I was trying to avoid people but he didn't need to know that.


	2. Chapter 2

Second year, Remus pov

It had been a long week I thought to myself as I itched my head and yawned. I forced myself to stay in the library a little later to avoid talking to the boys who knew something was up. Although I was sure they'd be waiting up for me but at least I'd be half asleep. The transformation always took it out of me, but three days later I still wasn't myself. So I did what I always did, pushed everyone away and ate chocolate.

"Hey" said Lily, who casually slipped in to the seat next to me, "fancy a walk?"

"Where we going to go? The Forbidden forest?" I asked, my tone making it clear I did not want to go.

"Or maybe just back to the common room together?" Lily shrugged, she looked awkward for some reason.

"You'd have more fun alone" I say with a bitter tone. Ignoring the fact Lily would usually want to curse you if you offered to walk her somewhere.

"But I've been wanting to talk to you and Madame Prince looks like she'll kill you if you keep eating" Lily said, glancing over the desk at my not so discreet hiding.

"Fine" I agreed, slowly pushing my books in to my bag. "Why are we going this way?"

"I wanted to talk to you that's all"

"Alright but I'm blaming you if we get caught after lights out" I answered, acting like it would be the first time.

"Deal" Lily nodded, not reacting to me irritability. "Remus I can tell you're not well so I'm just going to cut straight to the point" she said. I couldn't exactly explain how she was walking as she bounced on her feet but kept my slow speed. "My Dad's ill. He has been for years but he's getting worse and I can't go months without seeing him"

"Lily I'm sorry" I answered, I felt like I should put a hand on her arm or something but that wasn't a normal reaction for me. I was glad she was looking ahead and didn't see my awkward movement towards her.

"Well, don't be sorry, help me" she answered as if it was straight forward. Her hair was jumping as she continued to walk determinedly as if she had to get it out now.

"Help you?" I asked, my mind still felt like it was working slower than usual.

"Well you go home to help out with your Mum every month. I mean I was going to ask you a few days ago and you were home with your Mum, so like well how did you sort that out?" her voice was weird, she was talking even faster than normal.

"Visiting home?" I said, my mouth felt dry.

"Yes."

"It was arranged before I even came to school but I think we should go to Mcgonagll right now" I said trying to be supportive.

"Really?" she asked, Lily looked…I couldn't describe it as anything but venerable. Lily's big green eyes made it look like she hadn't told anyone about her Dad before. Maybe she hadn't. Merlin that made me feel even guiltier as a hand reached awkwardly for her shoulder.

"Mcgonagll would help you out," I said smiling at her, "it helps that she likes you"

"Sure" she grinned, I faked a smile back. I was glad I could be part of her motivation to do something about it but the guilt was stronger. "So do you have any advice?" she asked weakly.

"Like I said it had nothing to do with me," I sighed, "just tell her the truth"

"Want…want to talk more about it?" I offered. She shook her head quickly, I respected her response. Responsibility feeling like a constant pressure in the stomach the whole time. It felt stupid that I felt too weak to keep up with her but I wasn't sure what I could do.

"So?" I asked, Lily came out of the office maybe fifteen minutes later. Even though Lily wasn't smiling I could see it in her that she was thrilled. Her eyes made her easy to read, most of the time.

"We're going to talk more about me going home one weekend a month" she broke in to a smile.

"That's great Lily" I grinned back at her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. I had to force the gesture but it felt like the right thing to do.

"Mcgongall seems confident but she needs to talk to Dumbledore and organise my travel and stuff" she said, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Do they have a fire place?"

"Yes, Mcgonagll mentioned that with their consent we could," Lily shrugged, "but why hadn't anyone told me about floo?"

"I doubt your parents will say no to you coming home," I laughed unable to stay irritable towards her. "How about one day I'll make a huge list of things I'll think you want to know?"

"Yes about time you offered," Lily looked up at me, eyebrows knitted together as if she really was annoyed.

"I'm glad you're feeling…better" I paused, I'm sure she couldn't be feeling better but unable to think of a better word.

"Yeah, it's nice to know I won't…" Lily gulped down hard, "Dad just looks so much different each time I see him"

"I'm sorry Lily" I said again, I was more than sorry than she knew. I felt like the lie about my Mum was the only reason I was being told this…confession. I knew she meant deep down that each time she saw her Dad he looked worse and she was saying it like I could relate. Never had I felt worse for lying about this.

"It's fine" she said, sniffing.

"It's not fair"

"I even asked Mcgonagll if any magic could help but she said no" she sighed.

"I know; you'd think magic would solve everything" I agreed. It was easier to say things that I meant rather than trying to say we were going through the same thing.

"Maybe I should learn how to create a potion to save everyone" she mulled passively.

"Someone's feeling cocky"

"So?" she said, holding her robes closed.

"I mean maybe you should try finishing second year before you go curing the world"

"But what about all those people who need curing before I finish second year?"

"I think you could get a better potion made if you at least have studied it for two years"

"Yeah, I mean what's the point in all seven? I mean why don't I just quit after this year?"

"I don't see any problem with that"

"Have you been playing quidditch?" she asked after a few quiet minuets where she seemed happier not to talk.

"Quidditch? I don't play" I asked confused.

"Me either," she replied, "Your limping a bit"

"It's fine" I answered, not really surprised Lily was checking on me.

"You always come back from home looking ill" Lily said, watching me.

"Thanks" I said rolling my eyes at her.

"Sorry! I was just thinking about how it must be stressful"

"It'll be worth it" I said seriously.

"I hope so" she giggled to herself.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked, smiling just to hear her laugh after how upset she clearly was.

"Well, since your Mum's a muggle you may have heard of some folk tales so you might get it"

"Get what?" I said doubtfully, looking at her as she stayed by my side.

"You going home every month and coming back looking ill. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were a werewolf" she laughed short and harsh, I froze. It felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. "It's so silly but they change monthly and you go back every month"

I was stood behind her, frozen, I thought I was going to be sick. I watched her hair bouncing as she carried on, the idea was no less than hilarious to her. My stomach was churning; I didn't know what to do.

"You don't know what I'm talking about do you?" she said looking back at me finally.

"No, I've heard of them" I forced a laugh that burned my throat.

"Leg okay?" she asked walking back.

"Yup, just want to get back to bed"

"Well stopping doesn't help" she smiled. I watched Lily her eyes were still red and I tried not to take what she said so naively personally. Merlin even if she knew they were real why would she think I was one? The shouldn't let a monster like me in to school.

"Yeah, sorry just uh well uh shooting pains" but they were in my stomach rather than my leg.

"Don't go blaming me when you can't get back" Lily smiled.

"Yeah"

"No one ever gets my jokes" she grumbled, but still walked slower with me. Unwilling to explain they were real I just kept walking maybe forcing the limp a little more. What harm was that it distracted from my dry mouth and stomach pains. Tonight was meant to be a feeling sorry for myself night not looking after Lily. But now I felt like the worst person in the world.

"Want me to get you something?" she offered when we got there.

"No, no" I said dryly, "night Lils"

I walked upstairs, hearing her laugh at me calling her Lils as I headed to the bathroom. The guilt messaged with my stomach so badly I threw up. Part of me longed to tell her the truth. While the other knew Lily knew enough werewolf prejudice not to be ready to accept me. I clutched my stomach cursing myself.

Here I was using a lie that she was going through to hide the monster within. I deserved her to make that joke. I deserved her to hate me. It was all I could think about that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Summer after second year, Lily's pov

It was late at night but my father's coughing was keeping me up so I thought I'd distract myself. I was already past half way of my Defence Against the Dark Arts book and I'd only had my books a week. I mean it couldn't hurt to keep up to date with magic stuff before going back to school.

I couldn't help but smile when I read about bogarts despite how creepy they were. This is my favourite part of reading all this. Being reminded of friends and getting new questions to ask once I go back to school. I couldn't believe I was going in to my third year already. It was even better to know I was going to be spending some weekends at home, finally. It had felt so right being home for summer. Smiling to myself even while listening to Dad's coughs to see if he needed any help I turned the page.

Werewolves. Werewolves? Why are so many things I thought were myths real? Why isn't there a big longlist of muggle things that are actually real given to us muggle borns on our first day. God so far I'd found out about fairies, unicorns and pixies. Now werewolves! I had to admit my favourite was unicorns, me and Petunia had been pretty obsessed with them growing up. Not that she cared when I told her.

The chapter had been so interesting as I read about how many of the thigs that were in muggle stories were true. The monthly cycle was the key thing. There was something on my mind as I read something I couldn't quite place. I'd never heard about how powered silver and dittany. I sat learning the differences between wolves and werewolves hoping it would help. I could honestly say I'd never prepared for a class as much as I already had. I push my quill behind my ear unable to turn away from the pages.

Monthly cycles…how hard the transformation is…werewolves. Something was familiar, something I'd heard before. No, not heard. Something I said.

Then it hit me. I'd said I thought Remus was a werewolf. I was joking, of course, I had no idea they were real. He must have been so offended. I held my head in my hands. I remember that he froze he must have been so insulted. He was. Oh God how do I apologise for that?

But it wasn't just the guilt on my mind right now. Everything I said was still true. Remus came back with cuts and scars limping or bandaged up every time. It was odd because there wasn't much Madame Pomfrey couldn't fix up with next to no visible marks. I wonder why it's different for Remus? Has he hurt himself? The book makes it clear that they are hard to treat what with the ways to save them.

What are the chances Dumbledore would actually let him in if he was a werewolf? I wondered to myself. I could feel myself trying to convince myself I was wrong like I hadn't down right insulted a werewolf.

Despite myself deep down I knew he was and couldn't shake the feeling. Nibbling at my lip I stare at the page kind of hoping for a simple answer without having to contact Remus. It breaks my heart to think he has to go through this. Maybe have to go through this.

Damn I was a bad friend. Calling a werewolf a werewolf as a joke. In that moment I decided I'd do whatever I could to help him and make things easier for him without pushing him. Without making Remus tell me. Weather he's a werewolf or not, he kept missing school and that was one thing I could help with.

I guess it made it obvious why he couldn't talk to me properly about what was going on with my Dad. I really thought he'd be able to relate more. It wasn't like he wasn't there for me but still. I felt guilty he even had to make that lie up on top of everything. I sighed and turned the page trying to put it to the back of my mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Third year, Remus' pov

Lily had re-wrote her notes from our classes for the time I missed this month. I still hadn't had chance to thank her and her friends told me she was in the library. I wasn't that surprised she was there but I was surprised to see her storming out the door. She was scowling and walking so fast the other way she didn't see me as her red hair bounced.

"Lils!" I shouted after her, walking faster I squeezed her shoulders.

"Hey Re-Re" she said, her breathing harsh.

"Re-Re?"

"I still haven't found your nickname" Lily sighed.

"It's not Re-Re"

"Caught up?"

"Yeah, that's why I was looking for you to say thank you"

"I mean I couldn't let all four of you fail" Lily smirked casually.

"I take it they took no notes?"

"Close enough" she rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to keep doing this by the way," I smiled, "You've got enough going on"

"Rewriting my notes helps me learn" Lily explained. I didn't believe her for a second but there was something so kind in her dishonest words. I to leave it, once Lily had an idea it was going to happen.

"Next time make sure I'm there I want to see you hit Sirius on the head with a role of parchment" I laughed.

"He was being annoying!" Lily replied simply.

"I think it'll just be our go to thing when he's annoying now, don't you?"

"He looked so surprised it was great"

"Why wasn't I there" I shook my head.

"I was trying to find you so it's your fault"

"Did you get much work done?" I asked wondering about her hasty exit from the library.

"I was trying but Sev kept asking about James"

"Because you're an expert in James" I nodded seriously.

"Basically it's because James hasn't asked me out in about a year"

"It is a bit confusing" I grinned.

"Yes, but don't tell him to start again"

"Alright, I just wanted to keep Snape off your back" I teased.

"Oh thanks" she replied sarcastically.

"How was home?"

"Same old, fell out with Petunia again"

"I'm sorry Lily"

"Me too, she is meant to be more grown up than me"

"Sirius is older than me"

"Fair point," she laughed, "I hear you were using the girl's stairs as a slide all weekend"

" _All_ is a strong word"

"How many times?" she said, as if she was an adult talking to a child.

"I may have done it once" I grinned.

"And the others?"

"All of one day" I laughed.

"And why did they stop?"

"Mcgonagall was informed and then Peter almost knocked her over"

"God I miss all the fun," she cackled, "I hope he had a long detention"

"Yes, yes we do" I nodded sadly.

"I heard the alarm is pretty bad"

"I may have played a part in silencing it before I had to jinx one of the idiots"

"I'm telling Mcgonagall" she sang.

"Lily you would have done the same"

"I would have done it an hour before and jinxed you all"

"Like you could"

" _And_ levitated you to Mcgonagall's office"

"Oh I'm sure you'd give it a good go" I winked at her.

"I would!" she laughed, "so make sure you behave around me"

"Well…" I glared my throat, "maybe stay out of the common room next Friday"

"Why?"

"The boys are planning something that's all I'll say"

"On the last day of school!?"

"Is there a better time?"

"Never?" she offered, a waving her hand.

"You'd run out of stories to tell your parents pretty quickly without the pranks" I sighed smugly.

"Yes Re, cause that's the only thing I talk to them about"

"I know, you have such a boring life," I offered, "Maybe next time we can hang out somewhere different"

"Are you asking me to Hogsmeade Lupin?"

"U-uh if you want to come with the four of us?" I offered.

"I think I'll survive going with the girls"

"Don't have a date?"

"Marleen and Ruby are all I can handle" she answered dramatically.

"The Marauders are enough for me" I say.

"Have you been to Hogsmeade much?"

"Not that often, I mean it sounds like it was James' second home"

"Even the Hogs Head?"

"No, I still haven't been to the Hogshead," I laughed.

"I was going to say that's some pretty bad parenting"

"Or some great parenting," I retorted pointing a finger at her, "making me too shit scared to go again"

"Wow, your terrible" Lily laughed loudly.

"Or am I a genius?" I poked her.

"No, that is not the word I have for you Remus"

"Alright, alright" I said as we got in to the common room.

"I really should go to bed" she yawned.

"Night Lils"

"Night Re," she answered and I groaned at the use of the name.


	5. Chapter 5

Four year, Lily pov

Walking past he Great Hall I spotted Remus sat alone eating. I'd been planning on going for a walk unaccompanied but going with Remus was probably better than that.

"Hey Remus" I said, slipping in to the empty spot next to him.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" the Great Hall was practically empty.

"I spotted you when I walked past"

"You can never resist me" he grinned.

"Coming for a walk?" I suggested, leaning on the table.

"I'm eating"

"Don't worry about it" I teased, shaking him. He took the last few bites before getting up with a mouth full of food.

"Where?" Remus asked, pushing his bag over his shoulder.

"Black Lake," I said hooking my arm through his.

"Why doesn't Mcgongall see that you're the bad influence?" he asked, but Remus came with me anyway.

"At least it's not raining" I said to Remus as we walked outside.

"Don't jinx it" Remus laughed.

"Now after Monday can I trust you not to push me in the lake?"

"I just want to make it clear, James tried to push me in first but I got him back" he sighed.

"Right, and did that defence work?"

"I mean...almost" he shrugged.

"How come you're not in detention?"

"James Potter is not a grass" he said wagging his finger.

"Maybe" Remus said, making a good place to sit next to the Black Lake.

"I know it's ages away," I said after he long pause, "Do you know what you want to take for NEWTS?"

"Honestly I'm trying not to even think of OWL's"

"Well there not till next year" I nodded in agreement.

"Why then?" he asked, curious look on his face.

"Well I didn't think we had enough warning before choosing our OWL subjects. I mean I'm still barely sure I chose the right subjects"

"You're doing well as them at least" he answered encouragingly pulling his trousers to his bony knees as he sat on the mat.

"I know, but are they the right subjects? Do I want to do them once I leave school?" I sighed.

"I'm sure you'll be fine I mean we all have to do the same core subjects"

"I know, but I feel so out of the loop sometimes"

"Do you know we get career advice next year?" he said, his long legs stretching out.

"What? Another round of really helpful leaflets?" I said sarcastically.

"And actual career advice, Dad mentioned it, you'll go talk to a teacher"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think they prefer you to have a job plan in hand but it's not completely useless"

"Huh" I said relaxing slightly, Remus laughed. "Do you know what you want to do after Hogwarts?"

"No, no idea," there was something weird in his tone but I know when to press things and not with Remus, "you?"

"I think I'd like to work with potions"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but I don't know what jobs that would mean"

"Healing?"

"I don't know"

"Maybe a healer here once Madame Pomfrey retires? Lots of patience and limited death" as if he knew my issue with being a healer.

"Stop making me laugh at that!" I cackled.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I'm trying to cater a career to you Lils"

"Okay, then the pay would have to be amazing, it would be close to home, magic and I'd have to make potions, a lot"

"Just four things, can't be so hard!" he said more positive than me.

"Maybe, if I knew anything about Wizard careers" I grinned.

"Do you think there is some secret wizard thing hidden close to home for me?"

"Probably"

"I hear they have people in the post office"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Did your parents try to write to you the muggle way?"

"Uh yeah, something like that" I said not wanting to talk about Petunia.

"Weird" he nodded. "Maybe I could push you in and you could ask the creatures for what jobs there are?"

"Oh wow what a wonderful suggestion" I answered sarcastically.

"James said the giant squid was very helpful"

"Helpful?" I questioned.

"I mean he got him back to surface before he drowned" he spoke with his hands.

"Just what you want in a career adviser" I answer. Pulling my feet just as quickly out the lake.

"I was just making suggestions" he said holding his hands up innocently.

"Okay the squid probably can't be worse than you"

"I take that as a complement" he grinned.

"How?"

"The squid is a smart squid"

"Merlin Remus he can't even talk!"

"You don't have to talk to be smart"

"Why on earth are we arguing over the giant squid?"

"Cause I think I'm better suited to date him"

"That why your single? You think your better suited to squids?"

"Sadly yes" he answered sarcastically.

"It's about time you told me what happened between you both"

"I've told you I can push you in and you can ask the squid"

"It can't talk!"

"How do you know?"

"Because it's a squid"

"A squid in a magic school"

"Oh god, I'm not saying out after hours to argue about a squid get your ass up" I said standing up quickly. I looked at the forest while he stood up, it looked so eerie in this light.

"I'm I could find a secret passage to hang out in to argue about it"

"How romantic," I replied sarcastically, "At least we have each other"

"Lily Evans I do not want to date you!" he said loudly.

"Are they still annoyed you're the first one to have a girl in your dorm?"

"Yes, I think now there all worried about who is going to be the last one to have a girl in the dorm"

"Well I'm glad I could help you annoy all of them at once"

"And you just couldn't wait"

"I mean who else needed to be the first one to hear we'd managed to link my house to the floo network?"

"You were lucky everyone else was fully dressed"

"I kind of thought they'd be out" I admitted.

"Trying to get me alone? I still don't want to date you"

"Why?" I said eyes looking up at him.

"You are way too needy" he said simply. He was still so annoyingly taller than me he patted my head and then continued walking. "Going home tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yes, but don't worry I'm not asking you to be my date"

"Your Mum loves me"

"She only met you once"

"Once is all you need"

"It took me more than once, sorry" I grimaced.

"You're the one who wants to date me"

"Oh shut up Remus"

"I hope your Dad has a good weekend"

"Me too" I smiled up at him.

"The best part of this is I don't have to take notes to help you"

"Wow, you lazy ass"

"I think I prefer you calling me ass to Re-Re"

"You have such weird tastes"

"You're not wrong" he said, handing me some chocolate.

"You always have chocolate on you, that's part of the reason why I like you"

"Does that count as good tastes?"

"Something like that"

"Alright," he said as we made it to the common room, "I'll see you in class"

"Yeah, night Remus" I say, smiling at him. Secretly I wishing I could wish him a safe weekend without being obvious. "Stay safe" I added quickly, facing away from him.


	6. Chapter 6

Fifth year, Remus pov

I made my way downstairs in to the common room late that night and saw Lily. She was sat there all alone, I was surprised to see her there as she'd looked so tired earlier. I walked towards her as she stared at he barely burning fire.

"Hey Lils"

"Hey Re"

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just sleepy" she yawed on queue. It was clear she didn't want to go to bed so neither did I. "You?"

"Same" I nodded, I'd moved the other comfy chair to the side of hers both facing the dwindling fire.

"I just think we need to get them back for the dungbomb prank already"

"It was such a bad prank"

"I know" she shook her head, pulling her legs up wrapping her arms around them.

"And they've been more irritating than usual"

"It ridiculous what Muggle things wizards get obsessed with"

"I can't believe Marlene gave him a bouncy ball"

"Like Sirius could use magic on a ball but no, there's something about that ball"

"And his lighter"

"It's almost as annoying as his smoking"

"You're only saying that cause you smoke too" she grinned.

"Well, yeah, and it's annoying as hell"

"Maybe we should set the ball on fire?" I suggested weakly.

"Just what we need, a bouncy ball on fire"

"Why?" I asked playing innocent.

"It just may lead to injury"

"Only maybe" I said, pointing a finger at her.

"And knowing our luck they'll come after us"

"Maybe" I agreed, trying to copy how she was sat but I was too tall.

"Come on we need some ideas" she clicked her finger.

"I'm more the one who does the magic rather than comes up with ideas"

"Damn, I made friend with the wrong Marauder"

"Low blow Lily" I sighed.

"Why don't you go make friends with Marleen instead?" she shrugged.

"I am friends with Marleen?"

"You know what I mean" Lily said, head drooping backwards.

"Go to bed Lily"

"No," she shrugged me off, "we could dye their hair?"

"They'd love that too much"

"Yeah"

"And we can't use dungbombs"

"No way"

"And probably best to have no fires"

"Maybe a small one," she shrugged, teasing me for suggesting setting the ball on fire, "I can't think"

"Maybe we could sneak to Hogsmeade?"

"How on earth would we sneak to Hogsmeade?"

"We have our ways" I answered simply. Sometimes I forgot Lily dosen't know about the Marauders Map.

"Merlin I must be tired if I can't even be bothered to try that"

"And I doubt it would help, the boys must have every single Zonkos product"

"Maybe a firework rather than a fire?" she thought.

"Yes, and stealing stuff from them to prank them just makes it even better" I agreed enthusiastically.

"Okay," Lily said. Turning in her chair to face me her eyes finally lit up she smiled. "Why don't we pull and prank and blame them?"

"Is getting them in trouble a prank?" I said doubtfully.

"We can admit to it later if we need to" she shrugged.

"What do you have in mind?"

"An water slide?" Lily yawned.

"How?"

"On one of the steps" she grinned.

"After everything with the girls they'll believe it"

"I don't think it's a bad plan"

"I don't know how we'll make it safe"

"Or how to clean up easy"

"You are my new favourite person to plan pranks with" I grin at her.

"I could have told you that before we started" she said with a dismissive hand. She grabbed a book, crossed her legs and opened up what appeared to be her charms book. I smiled, I was fairly sure we'd need more help than that. "Get reading!" she encouraged.


	7. Chapter 7

Sixth year, Lily pov

"How are you?" Remus asked. We both deliberately hung back in the prefect carriage while everyone else headed for their duties. I don't know if they didn't notice or didn't care but I was grateful to be alone with Remus.

"I'm fine" I said dismissively. Standing I reached for the open window stopping the brisk wind from outside.

"No, you're not" he said almost in time with the window rattle.

"Probably not" I agreed, smiling at him. Being back with Remus could almost feel like going back in time to earlier the summer. Things were better then. Not good but better.

"You'll be home again in no time" Remus said, stretching his legs forward. He knew how important getting to spend time at home was, especially now.

"Exactly," I breathed, "thanks for all the times you came to visit me"

"Even the times I brought James?"

"Just…I wanted Dad to see how happy I was in school, I'm not sure why but I think he liked it"

"He liked James or meeting us?"

"Both, sadly" I grumbled.

"Yeah, I thought so" he said with a nervous voice.

"Why did you bring him?" I smiled, leaning forward to make him look at me.

"Well if me Peter and Sirius were there, what were you going to do?"

"I didn't exactly invite them either" I sad raising my eyebrow.

"At least your Dad think's your popular"

"Uh," I laughed, "I can't argue with that"

"And they didn't fight with Snape"

"Miracles do happen" I agreed, Mum loved having a house full so I didn't really mind.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you since the funeral" he said abruptly.

"You didn't have to come to that" I answered gently, very glad he had been there.

"I did" Remus said finally.

"It's been a bit crazy, honestly don't worry about it Re"

"Okay" I listened to his voice, it was odd to hear him nervous around me again. I didn't talk knowing there was something he wanted to say as we sat in silence apart from the rain and wind around our empty carriage.

"I need to talk to you," he continued, "I've been lying to you"

"About going home to visit your Mum?" I asked. Trying to keep it casual as both of our eyes darted around the carriage worried someone may overhear.

"You knew?" he replied, a nervous look on his face as he turned away.

"I suspected" I agreed, quickly using a non-verbal spell that Severus had taught me to make sure no one passing could hear.

"Why?"

"Honestly, you just would never talk to me about it and you'd want to talk to someone else going through it"

"Yeah it's just I felt so, s-so guilty talking about the lie you were living"

"I know and that's why I never pushed you" I replied gently. Even if he had been lying to me for years I still trusted him more than most.

"So, uh there's more" he cleared his throat. I watched him closely, I could see his mind working so fast wondering if it was the right thing to do.

"There had to be for you to lie" I said, trying to be kind as possible with my words as he debated what to tell me.

"We don't have to stay friends"

"I've known you far too long for that rubbish"

"Lily," he said looked me in the eyes, "I'm a werewolf"

"Re-Re," I said looking at him even though he turned away, "I thought so"

"You…" his jaw went slack. It was funny to see how he'd said he first part so fast and so determinedly he could quickly change to the nervous slow. It was like he had to get it out and was expecting me to storm off.

"I suspected," I sighed, "there was just a few things that meant I couldn't shake the idea"

"Yeah but…" Remus froze. I waited a second to make sure I would not be interrupting him before I replied. I wondered what made him tell me now as we sat in the empty carriage. Why on earth my father passing would spur this confession I did not understand. I tried not to care about the why and just listen, that is what friends are for after all.

"No, when I made the joke in second year I didn't know, I didn't even know werewolves were real and I felt so beyond guilty because weather you were or not I'd said something that many would see as insulting"

"I'm not sure what you should have done either"

"Good!" I said, I finally hugged him, holding him tightly even though there was a lot more to say.

"I'm sorry I lied but it's been such a big secret my whole life"

"That's the impression I've been given," I say taking his hand, "although I don't see why"

"I'm a monster, that's why" everything about his body was tense.

"Hey, how many monsters with cute little nick names do you know Re-Re Moony?"

"Yeah" he said, snorting slightly despite himself.

"Remus John Lupin, you're still the same person and you always will be"

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, you're still the sneaky amazing, kind and hardworking boy who has become one of my best friends in the world and I don't think anything could ever change it"

"Even this?"

"Even something you can't change? Something that doesn't affect you most days? Your still Remus to me"

"But Lily…"

"We all have our bad days; you just have set bad days" I grinned, trying to cheer him up.

"How did you work it out?" Remus asked, as if he didn't want to hear anything nice or comforting I had to say.

"I'm not sure Remus, something just clicked. I started reading about werewolves the conversation played on my mind – you know the one where I called you a werewolf? At first I was thinking about how bad it was I'd called you that when they were a real thing"

"A bad real thing"

"No, Re, that's not true." I said firmly, "I'm not sure why it connected but something made sense with the days you travelled home when I realised they weren't even monthly they were moonly…is that a word?"

"I don't know" he smiled.

"So, I don't know I tried to tell myself you couldn't be but it secretly made sense" I sighed, eyes darting to the rain covered window behind him. "I've thought about this far too long to think we shouldn't be friends anymore"

"Not doing great at hiding it?" I took his hand to feel his sweaty palm.

"I'm probably just paying too much attention" I said trying to cheer him up.

"Nosey, is the word your looking for"

"Still friends?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Why wouldn't I stay friends with you?"

"Who knows" I answered. I knew Remus wasn't completely comfortable with physical contact but I felt it was right. "Maybe because I'm basically been lying right back to you? Not exactly the best basis for a friendship"

"Don't be silly Lily"

"Don't be silly Re-Re" I repeated, hoping I could show him how little his lie meant to me. Assuming my pretending back did not insult him.

"Is this why you've been helping me with my homework? Because you knew?" I could feel him watching the back of my head, his heart beating fast still.

"Partly," I nodded, "although if your original story was true I'd have started helping"

"You're a good friend Lils"

"Well I couldn't help in any other way so no matter what was wrong I wanted to help you," I said honestly, "Who else knows?"

"James, Sirius, Peter and some of the teachers"

"So, I need to keep my mouth shut?"

"Yes, please"

"I know how to keep a secret"

"What like the secret that you know my secret?"

"Exactly" I smirked looking up at him.

"Is it going to make you too happy if I say you realised before the Marauders?" he smiled back.

"I assumed I had, they are idiots" I shrugged.

"They worked it out in third year"

"Wait, so does this mean it's the first time you've actually told someone?"

"Yes, actually" he said as if only just realising himself.

"See, I knew you liked me"

"Of course I like you"

"So am I going to find out about the Marauders and all the stupid nicknames or is that another year in the making?"

"Another six maybe" he laughed, I heard him sniff.

"Thank you" he said finally.

"You don't need to thank me, you need to tell the Marauders I found out first," I smiled looking in to his dark old before his time eyes, "you are a wonderfully talented, clever, annoyingly sarcastic, trouble making person I've ever met and nothing will change that"

"Lily" he said, nothing but shock and nerves on his face. My eyes darted to a scar above his eyebrow and wondered how he managed to cope with this. All this he has to go through and lives the most normal life he can. All this going on outside school and he still cares about me and losing my father.

"I know" I said, I'd left it a long time as he waited to speak. I could tell he wasn't ready as I was not quite ready to tell him everything I was thinking even if it was just praise. I didn't give him much of a choice as I gave him a back breaking hug. All I knew was we were done talking for now it had been pretty overwhelming for me. I couldn't start to imagine how Remus felt.


	8. Chapter 8

Seventh year, Remus pov

"Hey," I said walking over to Lily outside the common room, "sure you don't want me to swap with Jamesie?"

"Aww, Remus and what would you do without me?"

"Actually do my job?" I offered as we set off on patrol.

"Because I get in the way of that so badly" Lily answered sarcastically.

"I mean it wouldn't be the first time you were caught in a broom cupboard"

"Not with you, sorry Re-Re" she said with false sorrow in her voice.

"Devastated" I sighed.

"Can you believe we're seventh years?" she said abruptly.

"No, I never thought I was even going to make it to school" I said as if it was something casual.

"Don't worry, I didn't even know there was a Hogwarts to go to" that was Lily, able to be kind without making it awkward.

"How different would things be if we hadn't come to Hogwarts?"

"I'd almost have definitely never met any of you guys"

"Especially me as I'm just a myth" I said seriously.

"I'm glad you trusted me" she said rolling her eyes.

"But seriously, how have we made it all the way to seventh year?"

"I have no idea," Lily smiled, "but I think we helped each other out"

"And now we have to work our asses off to beat the Marauders"

"They are so smug when they beat us in anything"

"Ask us why we worried about studying so much"

"I mean they do have a point, but still"

"It's been a good year"

"It has Moony, it has"

"Why do you only use that nickname to tease me?"

"Because I can't believe it took seven years to find out what it means" Lily grumbled.

"We actually only started using them in third year" I answered sensibly.

"Not the point. Anyway you'll always be little Re-Re to me" she pinched my cheek.

"One day you'll forget that nickname"

"But then one of the Marauders will bring it back" she smirked, the lights from the torches illuminating our dark path.

"How lucky am I that your dating my best friend?" I milled sarcastically.

"I mean we'd fall out of contact otherwise"

"Of course" I laughed as she grinned back at me.

"Aw I promise I'll write to you every week just so I can call you Re-Re"

"I prefer the first option"

"So from today on I'll only ever see you when were with James"

"I don't make the rules" I shrugged.

"Yep, not allowed any male friends"

"I'd love to see James try to pull that one on you"

"We wouldn't be together if he was that much of a douche," Lily grinned as we continued through the quiet corridors. "I'm scared to leave, Remus".

"Still haven't chose a career?" I smiled at her as she deliberately looked away, my hand touched her shoulder.

"I'm not even thinking about that anymore"

"No, I never was" I agreed, not that I'd ever admitted that to her before.

"I'll just start my own business when this is all over and hire us both"

"If it's your own business do you need to hire yourself?"

"You know what I mean"

"Okay, thank you for hiring me to this imaginary future business"

"It's not imaginary! Just future"

"And what is it going to be?"

"It could be anything that's the best part"

"So a job that involves me sitting around eating chocolate all day?"

"Don't act as if you wouldn't get bored of that"

"Maybe eventually" I smirked.

"Your such an idiot, you always pretend like you prefer to do nothing but I know you"

"Fine a job with lots of reading"

"Now that's a job I can get on board with"

"Well you have a few years to set up a business plan"

"Yes a few relaxing years" Lily said sarcastically.

"I know, it'll be all lay ins and days out" I agreed.

"That's exactly how I'd describe the future too"

"We'll be fine" I said, it was always the thing you said even if you didn't really believe it in this situation. Who knew what was going to happen next? There seemed to be pretty drastic changes every week.

"I'm so scared for my Mum" she said sadly.

"Honestly without a wand that woman could do some damage" I attempted to cheer her up, I was particularly grateful for the unusually quiet halls.

"I did some spells around our house, with Mcgonagall's help"

"You did? You never said?"

"I know, it's just easier to keep some things quiet"

"Dad did some at home too," I nodded, "What about Petunia?"

"I don't even know where she lives and I'm not going to suggest it to her because then I'll never find out"

"That's sucks, Lily"

"I mean I'm really happy seeing less of them but Mum isn't" Lily looked so disappointed, I knew she would happily protect her sister and brother in law is she was able.

"How's Mrs Evans doing?"

"I don't know, it's the first time she's ever lived alone in her life"

"That must be a big change from having an annoying little red head screaming around the house"

"Hey," she said hitting my arm gently, "she misses me"

"That's exactly what I said"

"You could be nicer about it"

"I could have been meaner about it"

"Why on earth do I ever come to you?" she chuckled.

"Seriously though, I hope she's okay it must be a big change"

"At least I'm still home on weekends and Petunia visits her during the week"

"Exactly, she is probably looking forward to the peace and quiet" I smiled at her, the unspoken hint of Petunia making her visits opposite to when Lily was there.

"I wouldn't blame her for that" she laughed.

"You'll be home in soon"

"That does make leaving exciting, is that boring?" Lily looked up at me, her big green eyes showing nothing but love and worry.

"No, it's caring"

"Have you heard any more about that potion I told you about?" she asked rather abruptly. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the only thing she wanted to talk about all night but was just waiting for a better moment. I mean, she wouldn't want to start the conversation with it.

"Uh no," I answered awkwardly. Lily had always been interested in potions but the prospect of there being one that could help me and made her obsessed. I knew she was doing it for me but I didn't quite trust the new potion as it hadn't been the first one. "I have you for that"

"You told me not to!" Lily said defensively.

"And you've listened, have you?"

"Well…no, but what if I did!"

"Then my Dad or the Marauders would be up to date"

"Fine!" she answered viciously, "They are still working on it which means it must be positive"

"Yeah" I nodded, not wanting to get my hopes up again. It was never something they had the best Wizards working on. No one really cared about werewolves.

"Are you going to tell me to stop finding out about it?"

"I think I've learnt there's no point" I laughed.

"I'm sorry I care" she said sarcastically as she could.

"Me too, me too" I smirked back at her.

"Shall we get back to talking about old times?" Lily not so discreetly changed the subject.

"It's last year of school nostalgia"

"Remember the time you used to have short hair?" she reached to mess my longer hair up.

"Sadly, do you remember that time we dyed our hair pink?"

"We had to make out that we weren't involved"

"What if I'd have told first year Lily we did that?"

"I'd have been like why would Remus talk to me?"

"Would you have known my name?"

"Yes, we weren't that bad"

"At least were friends now" I poked her side.

"Are you going to find your own place after Hogwarts?"

"I think so, it doesn't look any of the Marauders are going to get to travel for their coming of age so we may get a place"

"And there will be a spare Lily and her family slash friends room?"

"What is a house without a Lily and her family slash friends room?"

"It's a very empty house" she nodded seriously, her hair bouncing.

"A very quiet house," I teased, "Shall we just get a place together? Or I could move in with you and Mrs Evans?"

"Perfect! You'd get the freedom of moving out and the mother who'd wash your clothes"

"And you'd get?"

"The company of my best friend every day and more company for Mum"

"Not selfish at all"

"I actually think it's at least partly selfless" she smirked.

"You always have to have an answer"

"Think we'll get in trouble if we bring our notes with us next time?" she yawned openly.

"I mean can you multi task?" I teased her, Lily was in fact one of the best study partners I could ask for.

"Meh, sometimes" she shrugged.

"Okay, as long as you bring a blanket and one of us keeps watch"

"It would be hard for a teacher to tell us off _for_ doing work"

"Very good point Mr Lupin!"

"Actually we could bring the invisibility cloak"

"That would be slightly problematic when they are expecting to see us"

"Oh, yeah it's just nice you _knowing_ about the cloak now"

"Yes, how great to know now when I can be out around the castle pretty much whenever I want"

"Right, because first year Lily was constantly sneaking around"

"I would have been with a cloak" Lily said enthusiastically.

"I think we've found where it went wrong for Prongs"

"Yeah, wonder if he'd still be the same"

"Probably" I grinned.

"I think we need to work harder on this end of year prank, by the way"

"I'm more than happy just to supply the magic"

"Not that you'll ever tell that"

"Stop making out like I never get involved in the pranks!"

"Our indoor swimming pool one was the best, I mean there was even diving boards and no one got hurt"

"And it was easy to clean up"

"Yeah, that did save our asses"

"Though they were probably the most detentions I ever had"

"Didn't...uh was it Alex? Try to get you out of that?"

"It was Nathan; I can't believe he thought that would work"

"Didn't he get some detentions?"

"Yeah, maybe that was his plan all along, spend a detention with me"

"Ah, yes how romantic" I teased sarcastically.

"Now we've just got to get out of the year without a detention"

"Good plan" she smiled.

"Think we can manage it?"

"I don't know; you are a bad influence"

"Me?"

"Were never going to settle this are we?" she grumbled.

"We can try" I laughed.

So Lily went, talking about the times we had been friends. Debating who had been a worse influence on each other, even though she was clearly the bad influence. So much had happened in that time and it meant a lot to both of us. It was so much easier to think about what was happening now. Neither of us wanted to think about that. Talking about old times helped the patrols go quicker too as here was not much to do tonight.


End file.
